Saturday, December 26, 2009

Holiday PSA (Steven Seagal:Lawman)

If you're snowed/shut in during this holiday break, you may be tempted to pass the time with whatevers on the televison. An interesting and wonderful program filmed in New Orleans, 'Steven Seagal: Lawman' on A&E, certainly is worth checking out.

A much better representation of the Cresent City than previous attempts, such as K-ville, episodes follow Steven Seagal (yes....THAT Steven Seagal), around as he (portrays) an active duty (reserve) Sheriffs deputy in Jefferson Parish.

If you can get past the intellectually dishonest claim that Seagal has been actively PRACTICING law enforcement for the last 20 years (and not just being POST certified or being an honorary sheriff) and the fact that after all the editing you still end up with a rather uneventful drama, but the show actually does a lot of good. Seagal means well and has his heart in the right place (you can't fault the guy for that) as he provides a window for America to view all the good people in the city and what they are going through.

However, I would just like to take the time to issue the following warning.

You may think that through the hokey production methods and simplistic delivery render this an innocuous diversion....don't be fooled.

Do NOT play the drinking game!!!!

1 Drink
  • Every time Steven Seagal says Martial Art
  • Every time Steven Seagal uses his Super Cop Senses (The camera fades to black and white)
  • Every time one of Steven Seagal’s team members is visibly annoyed at our star
  • Every Time Steven Seagal tries to lecture someone he is arresting

2 Drinks

  • Every time Steven Seagal says Aikido
  • Every time Steven Seagal says Zen
  • Every time a chase scene is cut to show Steven Seagal running then another cop catching the suspect

Following these seven simple rules you and your friends will be snockered in no time. For you non-alcoholics divvy up the rules as evenly as possible. This should still have you good and tight in thirty minutes or less.

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